Blah Blah Blah.. Just throw it to the side...

Oh internets.... So very much has happen since we have graced each other with our presence.  You could very well write a horribly unsuccessful trilogy of novels or a two part movie story line that only the hopeless and morbid would line up to watch with how I have lived my life here lately.

Let us get all the pleasantries and basics out of the way first:

Belated-- Merry Christmas / Happy Hanukkah / Happy Kwanzaa / Good-Day-To-You-Unbeliever.
And a Happy New Year to all. :)
I hope that you all had a pleasant holiday season spent with those that you love most.

I am going to stay positive for the first bit of this post... It will help you to swallow all the drudgery that follows...

If you are a fan of video games; which who isn't these days?
I have had the pleasure of being able to play Dragon Age: Origins.  This game, to say the very least, is one of the most well made games I have ever played.  The story line is amazing.  I am not just saying amazing as in epic scenes and what not; you actually feel for the characters.  The game actually plays on your real life emotions and judgments.  It makes you really think about if that little elf mage really deserves to die even though he turned his entire clan into blood hungry savages all for revenge on the human race.
Oops.. My nerd/ geek self is showing...

In Even Better News:  I got invited to play a show at The Wire in Upland California! I know right?!!? I am hella excited.. I am pretty sure I haven't been this excited since I came out of the womb.  The show is on January 24th at seven PM.  If you want details or wish to purchase a ticket just shoot me an e-mail @ cameron.kilby@yahoo.com.  Or even stop by my band page here to show me love.  (If you do listen to the song "Too Much of a Good Thing". It is the better of the two... Like no joke.. GO now.)

This is where the tissues would come in handy....


So I completely failed my first semester of college.  I only passed one class (Communications 101 if you must know...).  Good news; I had two classes worth of credit from passing AP tests in high school.. (See kids it pays to stay in school.)

I actually had plans to share with you the roller coaster that has been my emotional life, but I have now decided against it.  To be perfectly honest; so much has happened that I don't even know where to begin.  I mean... I have screwed up so many things.  I have done good and bad. 
All I can really say is that I totally lost who I was and what I was doing with myself there for a while.  I have realized quite a few things way to late and after I had already damaged them beyond repair.
I have lost so much, but in turn gained a little.  Life seems like a burden most days, but then some silver lining will start to peek through the dark.  I'm too proud to end it all, but isn't that a good thing? 
I reap what I sow. 

The poisons I planted in the beverages of others will soon find their way into my very own cup.

The smiles I have been the cause of will be returned to me with even more laughter then they held themselves.

All the pain I have caused will soon return to leave me so bedridden that I will forget what the outside of my bedroom looks like.

The inspiration I have given will soon find itself on the end of my pen with such ferocity that I will never again create something as beautiful.

The heart(s) I have broken will have nothing to do with the time that mine will stop beating.

You must learn from this gibberish all that I can not form into words.  I thoroughly ask you all to think of every possible outcome before you move in any direction.  Spontaneous behavior is wonderful in the world of lovers and friends, but never in major life choices.

I still stand by that which I have shoved on your screen in text time and time again: "Live the life you will be proud to have lived".

May 2010 bring you more joy than 2009 ever did.

Pieces of love,
CamBam